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The love Test

Test the love between two people by entering their names below
and then calculate their compatibility.

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Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

LOOK UP YOUR BIRTHDAY AND SEE WHAT ANIMAL YOU ARE...

January 01 - 09 ~ Dog

January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse

January 25 - 31 ~ Lion     

February 01 - 05 ~ Cat

February 06 - 14 ~ Dove

February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle

February 22 - 28 ~ Panther     

March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey

March 13 - 15 ~ Lion

March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse

March 24 - 31 ~ Cat

April 01 - 03 ~ Dog

April 04 - 14 ~ Panther

April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse

April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle    

May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey

May 14 - 21 ~ Dove

May 22 - 31 ~ Lion     

June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse

June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle

June 15 - 20 ~ Dog

June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey

June 25 - 30 ~ Cat

July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse

July 10 - 15 ~ Dog

July 16 - 26 ~ Dove

July 27 - 31 ~ Cat    

August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey

August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse

August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle     

September 01 - 14 ~ Dove

September 15 - 27 ~ Cat

September 28 - 30 ~ Dog

October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey

October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle

October 28 - 31 ~ Panther     

November 01 - 16 ~ Lion

November 17 - 30 ~ Cat    

December 01 - 16 ~ Dog

December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey

December 26 - 31 ~ Dove


 


 

If you are a Dog : A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified.

If you are a Mouse : Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-together's. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!


If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. Popular and easy-going. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. People love the way you always treat them. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!!  


If you are a Cat : An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy, with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool but when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.


If you are a Turtle : You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people. You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.


If you are a Dove : You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life. Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....  


If you are a Panther : You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk. You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group. Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.


If you are a Monkey : Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!  


 


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Hilarious Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails


I wanted to thank all my friends and family

who have forwarded chain letters to me in

2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and

continuing it in 2009 also

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found

out that it's good for removing toilet

stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of

sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.


 

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still

waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA,

CELL PHONE etc….

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped

using deodorants because they cause cancer...

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or

any other place and sometimes I even have to

walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone

will drug me with a perfume sample and try to

rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear

that they may ask me to dial a stupid number

and then I get a phone bill with calls to

Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a

can for fear that I will get sick from the

rat faeces and urine.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any

girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that

she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then

take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in

a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy

Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to

die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor

girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria

who wants to use my account to transfer his

uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much

trustworthy.

* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people

hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me

latest mobile phones but those models are

also obsolete now.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding

those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now

most of those 'Wishes' are already married

(to someone else)


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How a Computer Geek Sleeps at Night


Photobucket




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How to keep an idiot busy for hours !

Photobucket


Got it.............No, Then PM ME



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What S/W Guys will name their Business














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Gods Test on Men and Women

Men and women on earth die and go to heaven.


God comes and says: -


"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control over their women, and the other one for the men who were controlled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."


Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.


The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one man.


God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"


"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"


"The man replies, I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."


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God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'


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Johny Johny Reloaded

Johny Johny

Yes Papa

Private Company

Yes Papa

Any Motivation

No Papa

Many Tensions

Yes Papa

Do u Sleep well

No Papa

Onsite Opportunity

No papa

Boss Ki Galiyan

Yes Papa


Increment

Ha ha ha :)


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Ever been arrested

A man was filling out a job application. When he came to the question,

"Have you ever been arrested?"

"No.", he replied.

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous

question, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway:


 

"Never got caught."


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What is confidence????

A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs board an airplane
and are told that the flight that they are about to take is
the first-ever to feature pilotless technology:

"It is an uncrewed aircraft."Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately,
that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.

Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering
a different type of excuse.
One CEO alone remains on board the jet,
seeming very calm indeed.

Asked why he is so confident in this first
uncrewed flight, he replies:

"If it is the same software thats
developed by my company's IT systems department,
this plane won't even take off!!!! ."

That is called Confidence!!!

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ICICI Bank: Read on - Good One

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land
on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have
to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says. "One last thing, Mona.
Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."
Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years.
Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"

Place your mouse pointer below to know what Rajiv answers

Rajiv answers:Rajiv answers: "They'll find us!"





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